Rules and other thoughts

Rules- there sure are a lot of them around here - its kind of like working at a prison. :o) Just kidding, but I definitely feel like its going to be impossible to remember, much less enforce all of the rules. The good thing is that the rules are here to serve relationship, which is what really brings change. (Rather than the rules being almighty and relationship being in place to serve them, which is more typical and much less effective)I'm not too great at enforcing, confronting, dealing with conflict, etc and that is going to be daily life around this place. And when I do have to deal with a problem, my tendancy is to go into what we call "helicopter mode" and try to fix things myself -thinking that others need me to help. But people have to learn how to deal with situations and make good choices themselves without others controlling them, or fixing things for them.

We're learning all the theories of correctly dealing with crisis situations right now - its really intersting and very wise, and totally doesn't come naturally. Supposedly, the only thing constant in this place is chaos. Seems true enough so far. I'm asking the Lord to free me of the need and desire to be in control, to fix things, to have the right answer. And at the same time to give me the strength to be firm and consistent.

Supposedly I am going to fail here every day. Seems true enough so far. I don't like to fail - I'm asking the Lord to free me of this performance based, people pleasing, prideful living. (And by the way, if he could, I'd like him to do it without me having to fail to much .....wait a minute, i guess that's the problem)

I'm also asking him to free me of judgemental attitudes and teach me to really see and love people like him. I know he's changed me a lot in this over the years (I'm from a rich, white, subarb) but that I still have a long way to go.

I'd love for you to pray these things for me too.