Breaking, and Break

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes

I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it

Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past
Every time there's another storm I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

Does anyone like being broken? I hate it. Its hard. And it hurts. And I don't like it. It makes me wanna run away- not that that would really help, but its just not fun and there's really no way to fix it, so my mind says, just run away. But as much as it sucks to be broken, at least its real.... and in the dying, somewhere, there is hope of real life. Do you know what I'm talking about? LeadTime has the capacity to daily strip you of everything you think you have, to break you over and over of any inclination of self sufficiency or ability, and to leave you very aware of how totally far short you fall in every way. And then, from this place of brokenness and the death of self, Christ offers healing and life and beckons you to step out once again- with shaky steps, but on a firm foundation. It sucks, but its really real, and there is hope.

"Whatever we do, it is because Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for everyone, we also believe that we have all died to the old life we used to live. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live to please themselves. Instead, they will live to please Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others by what the world thinks about them. Once I mistakenly thought of Christ that way, as though he were merely a human being. How differently I think about him now! What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun! " 2 Cor 5:14-17 NLT

This week (March 21-30) is Spring Break. Most of the Littles spend 10 days at home with their families and we plan different activities each day for the ones who stay here, since there is no school or normal activities. Break is fun, because there are less girls and we're able to spend more time just hanging out with them- watching movies, playing extreme spoons, going snowboarding...so this is really fun at times. But by the same token, the lack of a schedule and the long hours with fewer staff around can get really tiring really fast. Especially when the Littles who are here don't care about consequences and are set on doing whatever they want and not doing whatever is asked of them. I get a 5 day break though from the 26-30th. I'm staying here in Colorado just planning to rest some and spend time with my friend Katie who is flying out to visit for a few days.