Captivating Ch. 3

We're also studying "Captivating". This week I've read and been thinking about how as a result of the fall the vulnerability and beauty gifted to women has been marred and replaced with a curse of loneliness, desire for control, and living under male dominance. Every woman is asking "Am I lovely?" and seeking to protect herself either through dominating and controlling, or being desolate and hiding. She then fulfills her hearts longings through little addictions and indulgences and quiet the longings temporarily but really only serve to separate her from her heart and fail to resolve the deeper issues. In this I've seen my more clearly my own fear of others and doubt that I'm worth paying attention to. This results in me hiding my true self and only offering what is wanted, not speaking up, busying myself, basic self protection. So obviously, living here has faced me to deal with these things day in and out as I am rejected and misunderstood. But I praise God, because even as I clearly see my struggle I see a lot of change and victory that the Lord has brought me to. From sharing when my heart is burdened with something in class even though it might be uncomfortable, to getting to know a homeless person in Boulder, to confronting Littles when I know how they will react...I see his growth and this is exciting! Though I have so far to go, I know He is moving me forward.