Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My struggle

Being real and being myself with the Littles.

It's not very difficult with the Bigs and staff.

But with the Littles what I have to offer isn't really wanted, and I'm rejected over and over.

Due to fear and vulnerability, my natural response in the middle of this is to
just turn off
disengage
not pursue
shut down
not offer my true self anymore.
Half the time I forget who I am and what I have to offer.
I think I struggled with this a lot at the daycare too. Too many tasks to accomplish and my real heart not being wanted anyways, so just turning it off.

Pray that I would be aware of who I am in the Lord and offer myself without condition and regardless of response. That I would fully engage and be real around the Littles.

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