Goodbye College Station -

Well, it's official. I've said goodbye to my home for the last 4 years. Praise the Lord for all He has done! College Station was God's idea, not mine, and of course it was just what I needed. Thank you Lord that I am not the same person I was 4 years ago. Although leaving makes me sad, everything that I am sad to leave is something to praise the Lord for blessing me with for a time. I am asking the Lord to keep me thankful and expectant, not holding onto what is behind, but striving for what is ahead. The one fun part of leaving is all the people who bless you and make you feel special and loved and know that you will be missed. Thanks friends! I will be at home with my family for a little over a week before we head to Colorado - again, what a blessing!

Adapted from CS Lewis's "Perelandra"
One goes into the forest to pick food, and already the thought of one fruit rather than another has grown up in one’s mind. Then, it may be that one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of. One joy is expected and another is given. The very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside. The picture of the fruit you have not found is still, for a moment, before you – you could keep it there. You could send your soul after the good you had expected instead of turning it to the good you had got. You could refuse the real good. You could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other.
It is I myself who turn from the good expected to the good given. Out of my own heart I do it. One can conceive of a heart that did not; which clung to the good it had first thought of and turned the good that was given it into no good. The good things God sends do not draw me into them as the waves lift the seaweed – it is I who plunge into them with my own legs and arms, as when we go swimming. Will it ever be too hard to turn my heart from the thing I wanted to the thing God sends? The wave I plunge into may be very swift and great. I may need all my force to swim into it. He might send me a good like that – or like a wave so swift that all my force was too little?
It often happens that way in swimming – is that not part of the delight?

Where are all the MEN?

I just got an e-mail from our LeadTime director saying that although the girl spots are filled, there are still quite a few LeadTime guy positions available for August. She asked for help in getting word out to guys who might be a good fit for the program. Please pray that the Lord would provide and if you know any guys who might be interested direct them to me or the LeadTime website. Thanks!

My New Best Friends

Don't worry, I'm not really finding replacement best friends, I can never replace you guys - but I am about to go live and study and work and do life with total strangers who are soon to be my only community, and therefore I have deemed them my "new best friends".

I got an e-mail a few days ago giving me their names, so as you pray for me, please pray for these ladies too!

Pam Holthaus

Jenna Walker (She's gunna be my favorite b/c she wears tie-die too!)

Katie Dodd -no picture

Lindsey Johnston

Sarah Walker

Ashley Dady (Fellow Texan and Aggie)

(There are 7 girl LeadTimers including me)

Desi Stutzman & Amanda Book (Our House Directors)

Jenny Lamar (The Women's Director for Denver) - no picture

I'm so excited to begin to get to know and soon meet these ladies. Please pray already for complete unity in spirit and purpose among us!

Perfect Provision - Praise God!

I have been wanting to write this post since the end of June, when I found out this exciting praise, but life has been crazy. So, here it is now - Late, but with just as much excitement and grattitude to the Lord.

When I begin LeadTime in August, I will be doing fulltime ministry and training there and will therefore no longer be working a "real job". LeadTime does provide a place to stay and food to eat, but its participants are then left to raise support for all other expenses, such as a car, a phone, gas, etc. When I made a temporary budget for the year it seemed like I could make do with a a little over $300 a month. I actually had enough money in savings to cover that- but I felt that the Lord would rather have me give the money in savings to others, and then raise money to cover my time at LeadTime. I had made very little headway in raising support, although I was not worried about it being sure of God's calling to LeadTime. Then put of no where on june 29th LeadTime sent me an e-mail saying that their board approved a measure providing a $300/month stipend for LeadTimers beginning in September! I never expected anything like that, but am so thankful for the Lord's perfect provision just in time for my arrival!

How can you be part of the TEAM ?

Want to know how to help?

I've had a few people asking me exactly how they can help me, so here are the things I am looking for right now:

-10 people who will commit to pray for me daily over this year

-As many people as are willing to commit to praying on a certain day of every week for me

-People to be on my update list, to take the time to stay in touch through the next year and pray as the Lord brings me to mind

-Financial support to cover personal expenses for a year - car insurance, gas, my phone, etc. LeadTime provides me with a place to stay as well as food, but I am responsible for all other day to day costs, and since I am commiting to fulltime ministry with the students at ShelterWood I will not be able to work.

*Please let me know if you can help in one of these ways!!*

Did you know it snows in Denver?

So, as I just moments ago, for the first time, viewed this photo of the property that is soon to be my new home I had a moment of pure shock. I'm a Texas girl, and when I see this picture I think "Oh man that looks cold!" - yes, it looks beautiful, but how am I going to ever go outside to appreciate the beauty without freezing?!? I miss the sun already.

I got to talk the the Assistant Director of LeadTime yesterday to just get aquainted and have some questions answered.

Something new I learned yeserday is that contrary to what I was expecting, due to some new law in Colorado I will not be rooming with the teenagers I work with. I will spend lots of time with them, but at night will retire to a room shared with another LeadTimer. This is really exciting to me. I think it is wise to have a safe place and know this will help increase unity among the LeadTimers too.

Also, the LeadTimers in Colorado in August will be an entire new group, because all of the January admits this year were sent to Missouri. Although this may make the transition a little rough for the Shelterwood teens who remain, it will again be conducive to unity.

Lastly, what all of you want to know.... will you be able to visit me in my new winter wonderland home?? In the words of someone on staff there, "Your friends, family, and supporters are more than welcome to visit at any time during the year and we encourage that so that they can have a better idea of what you're doing." - So start planning your vacations now!

Requests

It has been so fun hearing back from all of you who want to be a part of what God is doing at LeadTime! This week has been busy as I moved houses in College Station, but reading your e-mails was a blast. Even though there are still 2 months before I leave please begin praying now.

Specific Requests:
-We have a new roommate this summer, a girl who just came out of a program similar to what the teenagers I will be working with at LeadTime are in. Pray the Lord would use this to teach and prepare me greatly for what’s ahead.
- So far, only 3 girl LeadTimers have been placed in CO to start in August. The Doulos staff is working to place the other 6 this month. Pray that they would have wisdom in this process and begin to pray already for complete unity among the 9 of us (as well as the LeadTimers already in CO.)
-That I would daily be faithful to the Lord and His Word this summer and that He will teach me and put in me exactly the things that I will need at LeadTime. (I can already see some cool ways He’s done this in the last year – pray it would continue)

*Please also use the last post to begin praying for the things I desire to see God do in and through me at LeadTime.

The Beginning

Soo, I'm not much of a blogger, but as I go to LeadTime this Fall I need somewhere to post daily prayer requests and keep people informed about what's going on. So let me use my first post to introduce you to LeadTime, Why I'm going, and what the Lord has already put on my heart for my time there. Bear with me as it may be a little long and rough still...



What is LeadTime? (http://www.douloscorp.com/leadtime/index.html )
LeadTime is a yearlong discipleship program for post-college men and women. LeadTimers may not know where they’re headed, but they know that they passionately love Christ and desire to prepare spiritually for whatever is next. LeadTime is not a Bible school or a seminary, although it includes both biblical and theological training. LeadTime class work is practical and applicable (including knowing God, knowing ourselves, and understanding ministry) and the main approach of the LeadTime program to shaping lives is through intense relationships, not just classwork. The object of LeadTime is for students to live in Christ’s model of discipleship serving alongside others as iron sharpening iron through mentoring, Biblical studies, and Christ centered ministry experience. LeadTimers live and grow in vibrant Christian community with close personal relationships where they effectively serve Christ. They study, laugh, work, worship, and hurt together. Leadtime students also live with and mentor troubled teenagers who are in a program called Shelterwood. Living with these teens provides a chance for hands on ministry and learning to love, confront, counsel, serve, and communicate the love of Christ to those who are hurting. Through such relationships with the Shelterwood teens LeadTime hopes to see God work in the teens lives to rebuild trust, integrity, communication, and new attitudes, but such fruit is really only a bonus of the LeadTime program. The main focus is what God will accomplish in the LeadTime students. Many say that it is likely to be the hardest year of my life, but by God’s grace, also the best.

How did I hear about LeadTime?
Immediately after graduation, during the summer of 2005, I looked into multiple Christian ministries and training programs that would help me to prepare for whatever the Lord had next for me in life. (I have loved missions since I was a child and want to be prepared for this, or other full time ministry here in the states – wherever I go and whatever I do, I know that it will be ministry, because I can’t separate any part of me from Christ.) I did not end up entering any of these programs in 2005, because the Lord had something else in store, but as I considered them LeadTime stuck out. It is a place where real discipleship occurs and where I would be poured into and trained while at the same time pouring into and training younger women. This biblical model of discipleship appealed to me and I also knew several people involved in the program who spoke very highly of it.

Why am I now going to LeadTime?
In September 2006 after over a year of living in College Station, being involved in ministry through my church here, and learning how to try and represent Christ while working a real job I got an e-mail from LeadTime asking if I was still interested in their program. At that time I was praying about leaving my current job and so I decided to send in again for an application. Well, come October, things were moving forward with getting someone else hired and trained to fill my position so that I could leave, and I was seeking the Lord on what I would do next. I started thinking again about LeadTime, but realized that I had never received the application from them that I asked for. One day while driving home I was asking the Lord if I needed to look more into LeadTime, or if the fact that I never got the application meant that he had something else in store for me. Well, when I got home I had an e-mail waiting from LeadTime asking again if I was interested in the program. Apparently, they never got my request for an application. I took that e-mail as an answer from the Lord and began the application process. I turned in my application and met some of the LeadTime staff in November, had a phone interview in December, and was invited to be part of LeadTime in January. I took a month to continue asking the Lord what he wanted from me, felt peace about his calling to LeadTime, and in February returned my contract to take part in the LeadTime program from Aug 2007 to Aug 2008. In March I found out that I would be living in Colorado, which just happens to my favorite place ever (there is also a program in Missouri). And Since April I have really been praying that the Lord would give me specific vision and purpose as he prepares me to enter the program.

What do I desire to see the Lord do in and through me at LeadTime?
Overall, I desire for the Lord to develop me as a leader. Although in my own flesh and fear I would rather step back and most of the time be silent, it is clear that if I am to follow wholeheartedly after Christ, just being a follower in the world is not an option. There is immeasurable need in all areas of our world for Christ to bring change and turn things upside down. Whether that is with rebellious and hurting teens, impoverished communities, dead and religious churches, nations that do not know Christ, or anything else, someone has to care enough to step up, speak up, and fight for the truth. Someone has to say, like Paul, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” After experiencing a hard and painful management position, in my flesh I said “Lord, I don’t ever want to be in charge of anything ever again”. But it doesn’t matter what I want; whatever my Lord wants is best and what I must do. And so I want to be equipped to be a Godly leader and to be prepared and willing to step up and speak up. The Lord has put it on my heart that at LeadTime I am to do this not only with the Shelterwood teens, but also specifically with my peers in the LeadTime program. I long to help my peers in LeadTime unite in prayer and dependence on the Lord. To encourage and teach them from my past experiences and failures and pull them along most of all in going hard after the Lord. In this process I desire that the Lord would break and humble me and make me more like him as a persevering servant. That he would replace everything in the way I communicate and do relationships that has been shaped by the world with how he wants me to do it, teaching me more and more to love like him. I know that for the Lord to use me and develop me in all these ways will require first and foremost that he draw me into deeper intimacy and heart knowledge of my Savior and a firm understanding of his Word. And that as he does these things he will strengthen my faith that it would not waver as I in obedience risk doing things that truly only God can do.





Hopefully that gives you a little background infromation and a place to start praying. I am so excited as August draws near and I begin building a team, you can definitely pray for all aspects of preparation and team building - specific requests to come.